Gonna use this as an opportunity to reflect this 30 days thing. Read all the postings over here.
It was certainly fun doing this, even though I’ve been slacking a lot in the past weeks/months, rarely continuing. It was very cool though. Gave me the chance to post my opinion on certain things I probably wouldn’t have talked about otherwise - and you guys got to know me a little better, maybe.
It’d be cool if some of you did something similiar. I’m sure some people might find it annoying but it certainly is more personal than dull reblogging.
- when people don’t have any table manners and eat like savages. it’s the most annoying thing ever and I hope you guys burn in hell.
- people who are noisy in everything they do: walking, talking, laughing, brushing their teeth, opening a bottle, the simplest things. It annoys the fuck out of me.
- people on public transport, especially children and old people
- people who overdo/fake accents and/or dialects. if you’re not fucking British, don’t pretend to be. if you’re not from Hamburg or ever lived there, don’t fucking talk like someone from Hamburg.
- when people I’m not especially fond of stand right behind me and look over my shoulder to see what I read/write/look at. I mean, that’s okay and understandable, but don’t keep standing there all the time. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
- certainly a lot more. might update.
Finishing this tonight!
Guess I’d take a backpack and throw in some little things like my wallet, phone, some personal letters, some other important papers, some of my favorite books and some random clothes. With enough time left the last item I’d try to save would be my laptop and then that’s basically it. There sure are some things of value here but it’s kinda weird to realize that I don’t really have anything at all to lose (as long as it doesn’t come to people). Gets me in a weird mood, but it’s also interesting how it opens up opportunities.
I did have a couple of pets in my life, all of them when I was young as fuck though.
- dachshund by the name of “Jupp”, which is a common nickname for people whose firstname is Joseph. I’m not to blame about that name. The only memory I have of this dog is how the two of us played in a laundry basket when I was very, very young.
- budgie called “Willy”. My parents really only came up with silly names back then. Willy accidently got released into freedom by my father opening the window for some stupid reason. I was brokenhearted for weeks.
- some guinea pigs. I don’t remember their names.
I’m planning to get a cat now because I’m a lonely person. I don’t know when exactly, but maybe still this summer. A male cat would be called Octopus or Kipper, and a female would carry the name of Mackerel. I’m also fantasizing about getting a little turtle. I’d name it Yoda, and it would run around my place all the time and I’d let it sleep in the refrigerator and feed it with salad and cucumber and, y’know. It’d be awesome.
3 am is a good time to continue this thing. Okay, what do I live for? I’m just trying to live a decent, mediocre life. See some things, have some fun, read some books, drink some beer, you know. I don’t set myself some kind of ultimate goal I want to reach in my life. I honestly don’t believe I can make a change about what’s going on in the world and I don’t think there will be too many people who will remember me after my death. Some family and friends will, but the knowledge of my existence will ultimately die with them someday and then there won’t be any proof that I ever lived. I’m fine with that though. But to get back to the topic, I guess I’m simply trying to achieve happiness. Find a girl. Maybe have a kid. Travel a lot. Live in different places. Nothing special really. Just shoveling snow and trying to be happy most of the time.
- Mukai Shutoku, mastermind of Number Girl and Zazen Boys, creative and insane as fuck, great live performances.
- Yoni Wolf, the guy behind Why? and several other projects. Great lyrics.
- Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen, no words needed.
I find it pretty difficult to make a list of this and I feel like I can’t honor all the people enough. It’s also mostly the bands that should be honored and not single people. So three of my favorite musicians will do, I guess.
Concerning other people’s deaths, I have indirectly watched several people dying when I did my civilian service in a nursing home. It’s kinda weird to care for people who you know are going to die very soon (and who no longer have any sanity left whatsoever), and it’s a pretty bizarre feeling to see a dead body and being aware of the fact that there’s no life left in it. All these people didn’t mean very much to me though and so I don’t have bad feelings thinking about them being dead, apart from the awkward social duty of grieving a little about them.
Since I’ve been able to form my own thoughts I can’t remember anyone close to me dying. I don’t really want to know what it’s like either, for obvious reasons. Personally, I wouldn’t say I’m actively afraid of death. It’s rather that unbearable feeling to know that I will never ever have enough time to see all the things I want to see, do all the things I want to do, etc, that causes an inner discomfort inside of me. Long story made short, of course I am fucking afraid to die as long as I can still use my precious time to experience cool shit, and of course I don’t want do die a painful death and stuff.
But I don’t want to end up in a nursing home either.
Day 23 - a favorite song from the past
Millencolin - No Cigar
This used to be my favorite song for so many years. The first time I listened to it was when I got Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 back in ~2000. At this point in my life I haven’t really been aware of music, apart from the things they played on the radio and stuff. I remember how I immediatly got hooked by No Cigar and how I would play the game all the time just to listen to it. Makes me think of good times. Summer. Youth. I still listen to it on a regular basis. Great song, great band.
day 22 - childhood
Not too many things I could ramble about here. My childhood was pretty average, growing up with my Mom, enjoying the outdoors, playing in a football team, nothing special really. Have some photos. That girl was my first crush.
I am a person who only listens to a couple of artists and bands instead of a shitload of them. I think I’ve been listening to the same music for the last two years or so now. I have phases in that I discover new music and replace my old music with it. My current favorite artists are Bruce Springsteen and Why?, and I listen to kind of a lot of Japanese music, like BOaT, ent, 54-71 or Number Girl for example.
Shit started with radio and stuff, and when I became aware of music I had a period when I listened to some rock and then metal. I do not favor any specific genre now.
Okay here we go before I forget it.
I had the weirdest dream ever. I went to sleep pretty early last night, before midnight, and woke up way too early, around 5 am. It took me a while to fall asleep again but I guess it must have been around 6 am or something. Woke up again at 11 am and fell asleep shortly after that once more (I know, fucking screwed sleep rhythm). Anyway, that was the sleep period when suddenly the dream kicked in. I was with a couple of friends and we were using public transport, subway or something I guess. Nothing wrong with that, but the weird thing about it was that everyone had an old man in a wheelchair with them, and the old guys would constantly rant about shit and tell stories from World War II and whatever. My old man was Marcel Reich-Ranicki and I guess he appeared in my dream because I had read something about him in the news just a couple of hours before. I do not remember too many details but the one thing I can’t get out of my head is the way the dream ended. Someone would strike up this song about an apple flavored tea and make it sound like an old song from the Ink Spots, and everybody would join in. Scary shit.
I like them. And surprise, Murakami is my favorite. I also decided to abandon Shelfari and try Goodreads instead, even though I found it a bit unclear the first time I made an account there. I’ve added some books I’ve had on my Shelfari account so the stuff you see on Goodreads is basically what I’ve read in the last ~1 year. Come add me, kids. I’m so friendless it almost hurts.
I’m pretty happy with my life as it is, but there are some things I’d like to change indeed.
- Living healthier, i.e. start doing some sports (and keep up with it), less alcohol and unhealthy food, get sleep rhythm right and stop being weary all the time.
- Get shaved once in a while and maybe cut hair.
- Probably start playing football in a team again.
- See more shit, travel more.
- Live more actively.
- Move out of home. Living alone provides you with an enormous boost of freedom and independence so I actually can’t wait to have my own crib again.
Catching up on this.
Day 15 - countries you want to visit
I’m mostly interested in North America and Asia (/Oceania), specifically:
- the USA (obligatory)
- China (/Hong Kong)
- New Zealand
Of course there are other places I’d like to see, most of them European though, such as the Scandinavian countries or the typical culture/vacation-related spots everyone would like to visit. I’d by the way love to spend some time of my life living in one of the countries I mentioned up there in the list, preferably in one of the first mentioned. Places I don’t really feel like visiting are South America and Africa. There simply isn’t anything that makes me attracted to them, no offense and stuff.
Day 16 - what you wore today
This actually is really silly but whatever. Blue jeans, white shirt with a giant b/w robot smashing some b/w city and three airplanes flying ahead, leaving rainbow-colored fumes (I’m fully aware how insane this probably sounds), favorite shoes.